i thought the year would end with answers, with certainty, with some clear sign that i am finally becoming who i’m meant to be instead, it ends with a shift my mind recalibrating, my thoughts rearranging themselves, a nervous system finally refusing to run on emergency mode i used to think clarity came from effort now i see it comes from letting the mind drop its armor, breath after breath this december, i am not finishing strong i am laying down what kept me running, what kept me small, what kept me doubting whether i was ready maybe the real work is this letting myself slow down enough to feel what is finally healing the year may be ending, but i am not done i am still becoming and that is enough for now